Archive

6.09.2004

Project Girlfriend

I usually make it a habit to steer clear of writing anything self promoting or self indulgent. I prefer to keep my comments based on things that are not about me. But today I've decided to make my once a year exception and see how things turn out...My "love life" can be divided into four stages, ages 1 to 5 - girls are girls because they have long hair and wear dresses! Basically they are non exsistent. Ages 6 to 10 - the "cootie years". Ages 11 to 18 - the "I have better things to do" years. Ages 18.5 to 11:33 PM - the "what the crap! I need a girlfriend now!" month...
Aye, that's right, that tiny piece of my cold cold heart that used to be filled with Star Wars action figures and make believe wars is now empty. It went away much sooner than I had hoped or expected. Now I'm left here alone packing up my toys into boxes and signing imaginary peace treaties with the galactic empire. So what does this all mean? It's an opportunity, I think. I know there are plenty of you out there who are overly interested in people's love affairs. So I'm asking all you nosey cupids to play matchmaker for yours truly (that's me). I also know by the amount constant inquiries that many of you would also consider it the second coming if, when after you ask "the question" that I were to say "oh yeah, I'm dating ______ ______ now" instead of the usual "whatta YOU think?"
I know what you're saying, "why don't you be like every other human being and look for a girl yourself?" Well, because I'm not like every person and I'm definitely NOT like Sherlock Holmes. Heck, I'm not even like Inspector Gadget. I can't even begin to understand body languange or even concieve of how to discern what a girl may be thinking. I can't take a hint. I don't know whether a girl likes me or not unless she says "I like you in a way that is more than friends, let's date."
Sad huh?
I know how greedy people are so the big prize for the winner of "Project Girlfriend" 2004 gets a genuine autographed photo of me! Isn't that cool! Oh yeah it is....Now that I have your sympathy, get to work!