The Dark Knight

Wow. I don't even know what to say...The hype is NOT a lie, folks.
I only have a few things to say since most of the reviews so far have been spot on...
First of all this movie is just spectacularly crafted. From beginning to end every scene falls into place like a puzzle piece and it takes you a hundred miles per hour straight to the finish, gaining more momentum as it goes along. It's dark. I mean dark. This is not an uplifting picture. Gotham is at its worst and Batman has to make some intriguingly difficult decisions, but his choices almost seem moot in the face of the Joker's sinister "plot" which is ahead of Batman at every curve.
It's been said, and I agree wholeheartedly, Heath Ledger is one of the greatest villains of all time. The level of depth he gives the Joker blew away my assumptions of what could be done with the character (and I'm pretty familiar with the comics). Big thumbs up to him and the Nolan brothers for what they did with the character, and the script. You know, I didn't really expect much as far as the Joker/Batman relationship from just one movie, especially since Joker was just introduced, but they still manage to make it as compelling as we have ever seen. I felt that bizarre connection between them that I feel when I read some of the great Batman stories. Loved it. Unfortunately with Ledger gone we'll only get a taste of the psychological game of chess that occurs throughout the two rivals' history. If another film is made the writers are going to have to dig really deep in their study of Batman mythos to come up with the right antagonists who can satisfy third act necessities, which include: a reason for Batman's permanent fixture as Gotham's knight and to raise the stakes in the fight to save (or heal) itself.
I certainly can't think of anyone in the rogue's gallery (even if they let the rest of the well-known baddies loose) who can initiate a final test intense enough to lure Batman out of hiding. Personal reconcile seems to be the only path for the next one especially since Dent is most likely dead. What we'll probably see is Bruce's personal quest to reconstruct his life which could include some incarnation of Dick Grayson, or (more plausibly) Selina Kyle. She can fulfill several needs, the most important being a replacement female lead, and secondly; she presents Batman with a different shade of gray in his pursuit to define morality. Because she is not psychotic and is physically attractive she can tempt Bruce into blurring the line in a way the Joker could not. She can seduce him by depicting vigilantism as a godlike realm where normal rules do not apply. This puts him in genuine danger of "getting lost in this monster of yours", as Alfred put it, letting Batman use him and going beyond his initial promise to his parents.

But I digress...
Speaking of Harvey Dent...ha... played wonderfully by Aaron Eckhardt I thought he did a superb job as the tragic hero, even if he tended to be overshadowed by Ledger in this film I thought his transition was believable in the aloted time (unlike Hayden Christensen who couldn't pull off becoming Vader in three films). As a viewer you (probably) know exactly what's going to happen to Dent but you still feel invested enough in the character that you want to see him succeed. Then around the time of his transformation you snap back to and realize he is inevitably SCREWED. Gotham is screwed. By the end I felt almost in anguish over the events and losses that transpired in this modern day classical tragedy. My main man Gary Oldman...still the greatest actor of all time...he IS Commissioner Gordon, still tearin' up the role. Christian Bale, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman; all spectacular as always.
Anyway, I don't have anything else to say that wouldn't give away plot points, so, just go see it, NOW..Unless you're trying to steer clear of anything too depressing, then I might avoid this until the next one comes out which surely must be more uplifting...surely...with dancing ewoks and such.

Brett's Rating: 95/100 jokers ... three of which are enthusiastically pictured below. That's right, I'm cuckoo for heath ledger-puffs. Besides some minor nitpicking my only real complaints are that; Gotham was too obviously Chicago in this. It seemed like they disposed of a lot of the great set pieces from the first...and I definitely prefer a stylized Gotham. Secondly, it would have been nice to see the narrows and Arkham again. Without Wayne manor there weren't any specific locations from the Batman mythos present. Finally, the cliche spewing SWAT member, played atrociously by Nicky Katt. What Nolan was thinking here, I have no clue. I'm not sure how a director of Nolan's caliber can let crap like this slide. It's mind boggling. The Joker has more than enough humorous moments that we didn't need the grab-bag of one-liners like we had in Batman Begins. Oh well.

Beware of Cuteness

BEHOLD! My first Youtube video EVERRRRr. My new little digital video camera has opened up a whole new world of terrible possibilities. Here's the big debut of my first masterpiece: "Charlotte and the Bubble Gun". It's more adorable than a thousand rainbow filled puppies and kittens running through a field of magical flowers and candy mountains...

Tool Movie Criticism 101

Ever wanted to know the real secret of becoming a rich and famous movie critic? Well it's quite simple my boy...ya gotta sell out!
HA! HA!

And I can show you how to do it in five craptastic steps. It's so easy you can't possibly lose!

1. First of all, watching entire films is a waste of time and money, my professional tip *don't watch any movies. Nobody cares if you've seen the movie, the general public just wants a yay of reassurance...because they're going see it anyway, so all you need to do is give that extra nudge toward the ATM and then toward the movie theater box office. Use the Siskel and Ebert method of ambiguity and keep the rating system at a vague minimum, a "something" out of 3. IE 2 out of 3 stars or 3 out of 3 stars....but NEVER less than two stars...you can't lose!

2. The content of the movie is irrevelent. All YOU need to know is:
A. what's the movie called?
B. who's in it?
C. who directed it?
D. is the poster nice to look at?
Based on these factors you must ask yourself the following questions...Is the title good? Does the film have more than 2 but less than 6 famous actors? Is the director a current hot-commodity? Is the one-sheet asthetically pleasing?

3. Next, take a quick gander at the trailer. Make sure it isn't too good or bad. What I mean is; does it look like they crammed all the good parts into it? This happens a lot and gives the false impression of a good film. Or; here's where it gets tricky; is there very little interesting content in the trailer...sometimes they're saving the good parts for the movie, sometimes there are no good parts. What you have to do in this case is FIND ANOTHER TRAILER. Professional tip* Compare trailers for content*

4. Now, with a basic working knowledge of the film's general content, you take one or more of the options from question 2: option A, B and or C and substitute it into one of the following sentences followed by your two or three star rating...

"Fun!"

"A+!"

"A thrill ride!"

"Outrageous!"

"Best _______ (type of movie) of the last ________ (decade/few years/year)!"

"Not since _______ (similar movie to compare to) have we seen such things in a movie!"

"______(name of director or actor) does it again!"

"One of this ________(time of season ie. summer's, fall's) best _______(genre of film ie. action, romance) films!"

"I just $#!% my pants!"

"Every other movie ever made bows down in holy reverence to __________ (title of film)!"

professional tip* always use an exclaimation point! ALWAYS!!!! It makes everything more exciting!!!!!

NEXT: Choose a rating: 2 or 3 out of three stars

Says __________ (insert name) of the _________ (large publication or website that you may or may not necessarily work for)

Or, if you work for Rolling Stone what you have to say about the film is simply irrelevant, just be sure to mention that it's Rolling Stone, and that it's a positive opinion of some sort. Nothing else matters.
For instance..."A must see says Rolling Stone!", "Rolling Stone says It's a motion picture!"

"You're all set. Make enough of these and studios will begin to take notice! Before you know it your name, along with your glowing review, will be pasted all over video releases. Now get out there and start whoring out this year's blockbusters!"
-Says Brett Warren of Time Magazine (3 out of 3 stars)

Yacht Rock

alright so I'm too lazy to actually write new material, instead I present you with a classic episode of the short lived internet sensation that was Yacht Rock. It chronicles the adventures of Kenny Loggins and Michael MacDonald as they battle such foes as The Eagles and Hall & Oates in their attempt to bring smooth music to the world. In this final episode which I consider the funniest, the dynamic duo of smoothness battle "tropics obsessed lunatic" Jimmy Buffett as he attempts to trick Loggins into writing the theme song for Footloose...nobody puts kenny loggins in a corner!