If there's one thing people generally don't enjoy it's their jobs. Even if they say they like their work they're lying, or covering up the fact that they have nothing else to live for. Alright, that may be a tad harsh as a blanket statement of fact, but what is true is that our society has become firmly rooted in the quagmire-like dystopia as predicted by Marx in regards to capitalism. If say, in the 19th century people were detached and unsatisfied with their interaction with industrial machines and mass production, then how are we to feel now in the digital age? We still rarely encounter, have a connection to, or any notion as to the destination of our final product. But what's worse is that there is no product. It's all in some country most people don't know exists. Today the average job involves sending and receiving, customer relation, finances, sorting and sorting...in short: a middle-man for residual effect of a product that was likely created thousands of miles away with little to no input from yourself, and then being forced to feign excitement and firsthand knowledge in it's eventual pimping to the masses.
And so here's the deal; with the majority of our workforce sitting on the sidelines of the creative sphere (the "natural", primitive desire to produce through trade and craft as a means of not only support but also a satisfying means to spend the major portion of our days) we are left with only one important question for the future: how do we skip to the weekend? And as even our most banal of information jobs are continually outsourced, the question becomes even more pertinent.
"Weekday avoidance" will soon become a major issue in future presidential elections and it's time that we start addressing the issue head on.
Contrary to popular opinion I'm not a wizard, nor a prophet...that would be sacrilegious. I have no answer to this puzzle, but I do have a few outrageous solutions that would benefit us all, especially me, who will be rich beyond your wildest dreams when it comes to fruition.
Here is the list...patent pending...
1. Clones - unethical, per say. Only to be used as a last resort so long as we can prove they don't have souls.
2. Robots - a more viable, conscience friendly option. Anyone who chooses this would have to first buy their own personal "W.O.R.K.I.E" (Weekend Ovoidance Killroy Industrial Employobot) and pay all the attributable taxes and upkeep fees. The only downside to this is that if they happen to develop a "ghost" in their "machine", an independent intelligence, and realize they're being used to make hamburgers and telemarketing calls, they're going to be very pissed off...resulting in our long dreaded robot holocaust.
2.5. Cyborgs - All the advantages of Robots and Clones without (as many of) the ethical burdens and possibilities of our own massacre. Downside: they're usually really ugly. Bad for customer service.
3. Time travel - Always a possibility is that we could simply wake up on a Monday and take our personal time traveling vehicles to 5 pm on Friday. This option is filled with all kinds of problems, however. If John Doe gets to Friday and realizes that his weekday self has gunned down his office in a fit of rage, or sexually harassed a co-worker, what happens when he decides to fix it? Yep, see, the fabric of space/time would be torn like a Kleenex after the first day. Unless of course safe guards could be placed on when and where you could go. "Fridays Only!" Still...
4. Memory erasers - When the week is over just zap away the mind numbingly boring memories of the week! This is interesting but seems redundant since it's essentially what people try to do when the week is over anyway. And then there are all those details that might be valuable to remember; wedding dates, births of children, surgeries. Added up these would cause society to go haywire rapidly. Forget this one.
5. Rapping genies with attitudes - oh yeah! Wish #1: that I can get fired from my job!...Wish #2: that it'd be the freakin' weekend twenty-four hours a day! Wish #3: more wishes!
And finally, 6. Let the alcohol industry grow exponentially by instituting a week long "weekend bender". Everyone wins! The only trade off is that it would promote the denigration of our values, culture and government since it would basically place booze industry lobbyists in the seats of all major power...and none of us wants Jimmy Buffet as our commander and chief.
Five excellent options for us to ponder. Think about it, will you?
*I am not responsible for any deaths that may occur in the deployment of said ideas.
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