This Sex is On Fire: an Essay

    'This Sex is on Fire' is a song by the band Kings of Leon. The guy who wrote it thought it was really badass. Like, s***, man, "that friction was so abrasive our genitals literally caught fire!" It's like Hendrix's guitar, except it's his junk. It's the kind of edginess that only the most seasoned of pop bands peaking their head into the dirty room at Family Video could muster. SEX. Now that I have your attention. It's on FIRE. And he's CONSUMED with what's to transpire. It's letting all the kids know just how awesome being naked and touching ladies can be when you reach peak-MOR-rock-stardom. "My sex is the best", says the King of Leon (is that Leon like a Spanish conquistador? Or Leon like a gas station employee?)

I guess I'm just curious as to who gets that excited at the prospect of sex? It's great and all but what dude sits around in horny contemplation of the act? "Consumed" by the carrot of future sex dangling over his afternoon? The rubbing and heavy petting get me excited, but before that I'm mostly going about my day nauseous and thinking about how to contribute least to the downfall of civilization. If I'm consumed by anything, it's about what's about to transpire after I eat an entire La Bamba's Super Burrito. And who plans sex that far ahead? Or is he just that confident he's going to get some, and wants us, the listener, to know that he knows?

How far ahead of time is he getting consumed? Could he be better spending that time writing a better verse for his song?

Also, I looked it up and this is the only use of the vocab-delight that is "transpire" to be used in a song. So, the Kings do get some points for that, and for not rhyming "fire" with "desire"... or "higher". Thanks.

Are we supposed to be impressed at whatever transcendental, tantric experience Leon thinks he's having?

The music video takes place in a barn within The Matrix where the Kings of Leon are fated to live in a perpetual state of sweaty, lip-licking horniness. The singer wakes from a horny coma and starts throwing a sex tantrum. The sex is on fire and it makes him really colicky. No one believes HOW on fire it is! "YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD! THIS SEX IS REALLY ON FIIIIIRE! MAAAAAH!" Someone change his sex diaper already!
With the lead singer lying prostrate, one of his bandmates reads from a large encyclopedia (or maybe a book of spells, looking for an expecto boner reductus patronus incantation) while another eats broiled chicken. Later they all perform an exorcism on the lead singer who seems to be possessed by an African fertility demon (most likely a relative of Pzsuszu) who, later in the video, is vomited out as a black, smokey plague dust. Amazingly there are no women in the video.

VERSE 1: THE SEX IS SO AWESOME THAT IT IS A TOPIC OF CONVERSATION AT THE CAT PARK NEXT TO KING LEON'S CASTLE

VERSE 2: DOING IT IN BACK ALLEYS AND GETTING ROAD HEAD. SWEET.

VERSE 3: WE'RE THE GREATEST AT SEX. OUR BONES JINGLE IN A HOT JUNGLE JIVE FEVER LIKE WE'RE IN AN OINGO BOINGO VIDEO

Singing about being horny is only cool if you're Prince.
Prince turned desperately-needing-to-bone into a ballet. "Listen, for you naked I would dance a ballet, would that get you off? Tell me what will. l If I was your girlfriend, would you tell me?" Okay, that's stupid too, but all I'm saying is that you have to reeeeaally own that s***. You're technically rock stars, so you should technically be bored with sex after a certain point and into throwing tied up groupies into hotel pools as your only means of getting off.
The Kings of Leon spend the entire song and video playing coy, as if feeling the inflation of the nether regions is some long-held rock n roll secret that they're finally revealing to the world; breaking some ancient code of rocking ethics. Hendrix had a revolving-door harem. The world is not set alight by King of Leon's personal revelation that fornication is imminent... and 'twas dope!
An-ti-ci...pation? Copulation? Am I missing his intended point of transpiration?

OPTION 2:
2.
BOTANY
(of a plant or leaf) give off water vapor through the stomata.

If they're referring to the botanical definition then a lot of the song actually makes a great deal of sense. The road head parts don't though. That's clearly still just about road head.
The Kings seem like maybe they had spent their adolescence CONSUMED by the TRANSPIRATION of the band and had simply missed sex altogether. So, when they came up with that sick, two-note verse riff, and the foxes started nipping at their henhouse perches, they freaked out and tried to play it as cool as they knew. "uh, YEAH, um, my sex is totally on fire! And stuff. I know how to do it in back alleys!" *voice creaks* "MY SEX SCARES KITTENS!"