Constantine

I went to a movie today. There were three people in the theater, just how I like it...
The previews for Constantine looked pretty interesting to me, so I was going to eventually see it and did, today. I'm not familiar with the comic book and didn't really know what to expect besides bad Keanu Reeves acting and stuff about hell, so I went in with a fairly clean slate. Overall the movie seemed to be divided into three parts; the beginning had the same bad/cheesy editing that lots of comic book based movies such as Daredevil and Hellboy have. Then at about 15 minutes in, the movie actually becomes very well done. Toward the end though, the whole Satan revealing himself in human form to Constantine and such was far too reminiscent of the Jack van Impe "Apocalypse" movies based on the book of Revelation; cheesy. But at least Satan in this movie doesn't ask Keanu to "Believe in meeeeee, hisss!!!" I prefer the more "cold" portrayal of Satan, like, Hal9000 would have made a good Satan. I think he was just a tad over the top. Anyway, a good enough portion of the film was done well enough to keep me intrigued.
Although I tried hard not to make the comparison, Keanu's character John Constantine was waaaay to similar to Neo, I mean it was Neo with a different name only. Same "Thomas Anderson at the office" attire, but since Keanu basically plays himself in every movie I guess the character was just Keanu. I don't know, he did a good job coughing and smoking. I will admit that his character in this movie was far less confused than Keanu's usual characters. I was also pleasantly surprised to hear no "whoa's" or "why's" in this movie. So congratulations Mr. Reeves.
Rachel Weisz was fantastic as well, I was expecting her to be crazy and flustered like she was in The Mummy, The Mummy Returns, Envy, Enemy at the Gates and Runaway Jury. I also expected her to cry a lot. But nope!
I abruptly end my review by highly recommending Constantine, definitely worth the viewing. Great art direction, some interesting special effects, better than Matrix Revolutions, I give it 7.86/10 "whoa" 's.

I also saw the most hilarious preview ever, it was for yet another horror movie to add to the pile of crap, it was called "House of Wax". It's funny enough that Paris Hilton is in the movie, but Chad Michael Murray and Elisha Cuthbert too!? I was surprised, where's Hillary Duff?
This trailer was gold, I don't think anyone could have even tried to come up with something so ridiculous, these five beautiful teens get stranded in some town where this guy killed everyone and turned them into wax statues, uuuh, ok. So no one in the town noticed anything fishy going on? Anyway, they run from the killer, show a few random shots of Paris Hilton doing her sobby sad face, show a few close-ups of Chad Michael Murray looking sexy. I'm sure the whole movie consists of how many "creepy" things you can do involving wax statues. I can think of many, but not enough to warrant the 2395724875984th faux horror movie of 2005.
This got me thinking that maybe, this is really a very very subtle, new form of comedy, where the comedy inheritly lies within the movie being bad. I mean like, "Manos the Hands of Fate", what if someone made that bad on purpose, and now some film makers with sick senses of humor are doing the same with these "horror" movies. Hmmm.