Deep Fried Foods: Eat Them Not

Everything can be deep fried I have discovered, everything! Chicken, onions, pickles, fish, bread, small puppies, easy cheese and milk. It does not taste good at all. So why are we continuosly poisoned by the thick hardened crusty brown grease? Young children who eat at Long John Silvers are developing ulsers. Now that deep frying machines are in all places it would be useless to try destroying them all, so what should we do with them? The first and most popular is the idea that political leaders could be deep fried which would finely preserve them far into the future. Al Gore per say, in 2040 after he is uncrusted from the deep fried state could run for president against George W's great grandkids. The deepfry could also be used as a nonlethal weapon for police or a capital punishment tool, I don't know but if you have any questions, comments or suggested uses for the deepfry call this toll free fake number for the presidential council of greasy foods, 555-grease.