Around election time it is often said by people of the right winged persuasion that writer and director Michael Moore is anti-American and anti-support our troops, that he indeed "Hates America". But every single year when the holiday season rolls around, there's someone that Michael hates "Moore" (Clever!) than America....
In Michael Moore's universe the term "stupid white men" equates to those who are a) CAUCASION b) MALE c) OLD d) REPUBLICAN e) POLITICIANS and or CEO's. So when it comes to Chris Cringle it's only natural to put two and two together...in the history of the world very few people have controlled such a large global merchandising empire that Santa Clause has. He is responsible for over 40% of Christmas gifts for the average household and his market spans over all English speaking countrys, catholic and protestant countrys, military occupied countrys and Japan. Now you might be thinking, "well then that means that Moore hates other holiday icons too, like the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, St. Patrick, the Great Pumpkin and the Kawanza Monkey". No, no it doesn't, all these holiday icons are minorities, case closed.
Besides being a corporate fat cat who promotes a religious oriented holiday, there is another reason why Michael Moore hates Santa Clause. Santa's work force is deplorable and goes totally against all equal opportunity employment laws. "NAY!" ye may be thinking, "Santa employs midgets! That's a disability, isn't it?!" Absolutely not children...Santa employs elves which are are not technically midgets and if we've learned anything from Lord of the Rings it's that Elves are the whitest and most elite spieces. They have super vision, super speed, nice hair and are all beautiful. Besides not being old, Elves embody everything that Michael Moore is against; healthy, hardworking people who have an awesome army.
Before we get out our torches and pitchforkes we have to stop and decide if Michael Moore's justification for hating clause is understandable.
No. It isn't. But there are two reasons why we can and should hate Santa...
1. Santa takes all the attention away from Jesus on Christmas, maybe it's not really his fault, like all the problems in society IT'S THE FAULT OF THE CHILDREN! They are distracted by Santa's promise of material goods every year, shame on you kids.
and 2. If you move the n past the a in santa you get satan!
No comments:
Post a Comment