The Time of Great Debotchery
Order had been restored after the days of bloody peril, but good king Woody’s lust for blood was not yet satisfied. He had chosen his neighbors to the north to wage his next war against. Across the great barren tundra there was a kingdom that sat beside the great ocean, twas called Xcelenia. The battle started with fair conditions and the knights had seiged the castle with ease, but the knights were soon to fall apart. During the first month of the campaign Bokey el Diablo was fumingly angry with the head of the Christian empire to the east, Lord Michael who had questioned her motivations. After much prayer and dispute with king Woody, Bokey el Diablo made her decision to convert to Catholicism. After leaving, she was hence labeled as a heretic by king Woody and her effigy was henceforth removed hence from the royal hall and hence burned by the king’s personal burner Sir Lang of Jo-Nah, of whom was later the axe bearer at Bokey’s execution. This was also a period of distress for Tiffany the Holy, she was so madly vexed and tormented by the Lord of her homeland that she decided to leave the knights in pursuit of sanguinary interests. During the cover of night she approached her lord’s castle with much stealthery, and with a flaming torch she lit the mud and the grass of her castle ablaze. She then entered her lord’s chambers and inquisited her brother. “Why dost my own family torment me, why brother!? Where did our lord taketh away my steed!?“ She cried hence. Her brother remained silent, desiring to remain in good standing with his lord. So she spake unto him, “Verily, thou hath left me no choice.” So she took her brother and tied him with the tightest of ropes and set his body ablaze. After doing these heinous deeds she fled far away to the house of Craconius.
This campaign was wearisome to the young knights. It went on for many a year and with so many of from their ranks deserting, they grew tired of the siege against the Xcelenians. Their strength had become limp. Retreat was made and the knights rode southward back to Cavalley Baptiste. “Remember my young knights, life ain’t worth #&^*.” said the good king to his fellowship, hoping to strengthen their morality.
While sitting at the round table playing Hearts and discussing where hence to wage the next war, Sir William of Korkle arose and spoke to King Woody in a mighty voice, “My Liege, Tiffany the Holy would not have wanted us to cower like heathens in the face of adversity!”.
“You’re totally right Sir William. We shall depart come morn time.” replied the king.
So with only four adventurous knights left; Crusteigh the Glutton, Lord Matricks of Ur, Sir William of Korkle and Qua-Bretto the Exception, King Woody returned to the land of Xcelenia, where a second war against the Macros and Forms was waged.
The Knights had finally won their great victory against the Xcelenian Barbarians and a great and glorious celebration ensued. The knights played knickerbocker music and told unwholesome riddles. During his debotchered stupor, Lord Matricks of Ur began telling tales about the Negro who ate watermelon from his lords patch and ate the chickens from his lords coop. Crusteigh the Glutton was now becoming displeased at the unsavory riddles and tricksiness and in her own drunkenness screamed at the music and tales yelling, “Sir William, Lord Matricks, I beseech thee, stop being racists!”
Right when she yelled this the great emperor of the empire, Sir Timothy the Uncomfortable appeared in the ball room. “What art thou speaking ye heathens?” he betrothed. A might silence descended upon the celebration. From that day hence the time for horseplay was at an end. Woody was chastened and the knights were never permitted to engage in sanguinary interests again, until…
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