The King Finally Dies
After a long expulsion from the land, two brave knights came to the castle to aid in the quest for the kings bloodlust, they were called El Capitan Cornholeo and Lushion the Lush. They had long been banished by Sir Timothy for their naughtiness, they had stolen their lords opium, amen. With their arrival also came tales of a great grail, rumored to be in the land of Maicrohsoff. This greatly interested King Woody, for he was greedy.
The knights were once again at full strength in both number and spirit and so with king Woody the Nymph leading they set forth on a journey to find and claim the holy grail.
Krusty the Glutton, who was called flamboyant, remained silent throughout this quest. It seemed as though she was hiding a secret from the other knights. This alarming trend lasted for many moons, until one day she spoke of her great sin, “No longer can I remain silent, I have keyed the king’s horse!” she proclaimed to the knights. “I am to be exiled for a half score and one month!”
A silence fell, then great celebration erupted, the other knights rejoiced at this pronunciation, for the Glutton had become quite vexedly flamboyant. She then spread the news of her sin throughout the kingdom, to every man, woman and child she told the tale with great pleasure.
“We don not give a duck about your peril!” She was told, but regardless she continued to spread her gossip until the day she was exiled to the Isle of Warrenville. The knights were back to five in number and in spirit, but it did not seem to affect their questful desires for the holy grail. It certainly did not damper King Woody’s desire for conquest either.
After many a sunrise of travel through the perilous woods of Los Acres the knights finally reached their destination, the castle Maicrohsoff. With swords in hand the knights approached the gates of the castle and knocked there upon. “We have come a great distance seeking the grail!” King Woody proclaimed. Woody and his knights stood and waited for reply. Then a voice was heard from behind the gate, “Sorry Woody, the grail isn’t in this castle!”
So the knights traversed to the castle across the way. Things continued in this fashion for five castles, the first grail-less castle was stormed by Qua Bretto the Exception.
The Story of Qua-Bretto the Exception…
Qua-Bretto was the bravest, he fought the lord of castle Penelope, Lord Jackelope, who was defeated with the strength of one sword. Qua-Bretto then searched the defeated lord’s pockets for loose gold, to the victor goes the spoils, and I’m victor #$*&%!” Qua-Bretto then removed lord Jackelope’s head.
The Story of Lord Matricks of Ur…
Lord Matricks’ battle was the most perilous. He was nearly destroyed by the collective soul which resided in the Decemberlink castle. Though weakened, Lord Matricks defeated the soul with much repentance and with the aid of King Woody. “Listen, do not blame me for my failure! I did not run and I certainly did not need your help, though I thank you for giving it to me. You came in between me and my enemy, so I make this precious declaration, I shall serve you no more, no less have I given to you with my service.” Lord Matricks spoke.
“Whatever.” replied the king.
The Story of El Capitan Cornholeo…
Trying to impress the other knights, Cornholeo used impressive techniques in his skirmish, but alas, they had little might and failed the test. Though not completely killed, he was extremely shaken. Still no grail was found.
The Story of William of Korkle…
Though postponed because of dire straights, William began his battle with the knight of the Point castle. Many children of the kingdom had traveled to witness William’s grand bourgeoisie. He conquered his enemy with great confidence thanks to the laughter of the children, but his battle was fruitless, for neither did it reveal the holy grail.
The Story of Lushion the Lush…
Lushion did not arrive at his battle for many days leaving the other knights to wonder where hence he had gone. “Who will defeat the lord of this castle? We will most assuredly die!” spake Lord Matricks. The knights had already decided to abandon their quest for the grail and conquer the castle Outethslook instead by the time Lushion had finally returned. Hungethed over and debotchered on the drunkenthed wine of Judas he came forth hence to the castle gates, so be it. Demanding to face the lord in battle, he was refused. For six risings of the moon he waited by the castle gates, when on the seventh rising he snuck into the castle disguised as the lords jester. There he remained and served as the lords jester for many a year.
The knights had returned from their victory at the castle Outethslook and were greatly pleased. Lushion eventually retuned to Cavalley Baptiste to join the other knights and with him came the grail and much rejoicing. The grail was indeed in the Last Castle and Lushion had claimed it after the mysterious choking death of it’s lord. It seemed as though the knights were thriving, until on a very strange day when King Woody drank hence from the grail, and lo! The grail was not the real grail, but a false one. His flesh did rotteth and a great famine besieged the land. But even stranger than that was the day when Crusteigh the Glutton came galloping back on her mightily thinned steed. Because she was banished forthwith she was not actually allowed to enter the Cavalley Baptiste castle but would sit at the outer gate and tell tales to passers by of the times spent at the Isle of Warrenville. From that day forth the knights were constantly annoyed by the sound of the Glutton’s voice speaking chronicles of prevescuously vexed journey through the land of Departmo O’Korekshuns, verily, verily, amen, doth sayeth the lord.
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