Lost in Illinois

Last night Luke and I and a few other friends decided to have a happy-fun-time get together at one at of our friend's house. We weren't really sure where we were going or how long it would take to get there, but we just kept following and following...and following. We left from Bloomington and then just kept driving and driving and driving, and driving, on the longest straightest most unchanging road in existence. It was like the first 15 minutes of 'Manos the Hands of Fate'. After we had already circumnavigated the globe for the third time I decided to put on the cruise control and hop into the backseat, take a nap and do some homework. When I woke up we were in outer space. It was like being on the moon. There was no sound whatsoever, nothing but flat open land for miles and you could see every star in the sky. I went out and sat on the enormous lawn just listening to nothing except the occasional wolf or coyote cry in the distance and the sound of blood rushing past my eardrums. I started to get dizzy, vertigo I think, it happens whenever I'm in a geographical location that lacks visible landmarks. Without a point of reference I feel like I'm about to go flying off the earth, whisked into the vacuum of space.
To add to the creepiness, the house looked like the one from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, minus the clotheslines with sheets drying in the front yard. Well, Luke and I were bored out of our minds so we decided to try and drive home which we already knew was going to be disastrous and I was low on gas and didn't have time to search for the right way to go. When you're going back whence ye came, your minds starts playing tricks on you. Or maybe we were in hell and the landscape actually warped causing previous landmarks to disappear. Either way, we were freaking out, "It's over dude!" Luke would say to me every five minutes. And he was right, but I kept driving anyway, my blood pressure was rising, I was speaking in toungues and the road just kept looking more and more unfamiliar. After we tried going left, then right, then straight, then backwards, we just went back to the haunted house and stayed the night. The trip back this morning wasn't trouble free either, but we got back, eventually.
The moral of this story is this, don't live IN THE MIDDLE OF FREAKIN NOWHERE!!!!!!
The other moral is this, don't INVITE PEOPLE TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE IF YOU LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF FREAKIN NOWHERE!!!! AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaGHGGHGH!!!

mmmm aaah. I'm fine now. Ah, eh he he. Luke said "dude, we're gonna be laughing about this tomorrow"...mmmm...No. We're not. Do you think that people during wartime say that to each other? No. And this experience was far more traumatizing than any war.