December Whispers of Treachery...

Ah, Collective Soul, so wise, so true, it is December already and so I feel obliged to post something worthy of their genius, but my brain is completely numb after having just finished a six page paper about ‘how Tim Burton films teach us lessons about how to treat weird people’. I can honestly say I’ve never been so uninspired in my life, sure I love Burton and enjoyed doing the research but I just couldn’t muster up even the tiniest bit of motivation. I focused my thoughts as hard as I could but the wheel inside my brain was just barely screeching along, uuuaagh, c'mon, THINK!!! I laid on the floor and stared at the computer screen, as the hours ticked by, as no thoughts entered my vacant mind. Easily the worst case of writers block I've ever had. But, fortunately for me I went into a bizarre, caffeine induced creative streak...I just kept typing and typing as the sugar rushed through my veins, speaking to me wisdoms and notions of things unseen...until I had six pages worth of lofty sounding words and concepts. I'm not sure if it makes any sense or if it's just total gobbledygook BS...but I think I accomplished most the goals of the paper, for the most part…I hope.

I downloaded this today, Google Earth. This program is a-ma-zing, you can zoom in and out, tilt and pan, wherever, anywhere over the globe. However, some places have clearer satellite photos than others, like TOWANDAAA! If you can figure out these ridiculous coordinates then you might have the once in a lifetime opportunity of seeing my hidden rebel base..."pointer - 40,34,57.63 N 88,52,26.86 W elevation - 768 ft"...right there, the house shaped like an M...see, I'm in the driveway...giving you the christian finger. Anyway, this thing is awesome, it makes the world seem so small (I've finally discovered what the elusive country of Portugal looks like), but at the same time so much larger and kind of lonely; here we are, this tiny globe sitting somewhere in infinite space...here I am, out of all the places in the world I could be, in central Illinois...strange...it also makes me sad that the all I've seen of it (outside of the states) is Tijuana, which barely even counts. I want to see the great pyramids!and I want to taste the delicious burritos in el Ciudad de Panama!
Anyway, Another thing I noticed is that when you look at a regular flat map like you see in books, the oceans look fairly "small", well, a lot less than the 70% of the earth's surface, or whatever it is. But on a realistic looking globe, zooming in and out with the power of Google, you see just how truly enormous they are. I used to wonder why more Cubans don't just swim to the Florida keys...now I know. And Australia...gah! Soooo unbelieveably faaar awaay, sdjfskdfmAB!! It reaffirms my belief that it's just a gigantic Arizona, out there all alone in the middle of the ocean, not a care in the world. And just think if you lived in Perth, you're on the far side of the island, thousands and thousands of miles from the side that has the only four good cities in the entire chunk of land>>see this beautiful port city? Well it's facing directly west and absolutely NOTHING for a gagillion miles in that direction, but east...LOOK! a crater! and no one even noticed, except the dinosaurs. Eh, nevermind, I've got a book comin' out sometime that will explain my theories. One day I'm going to visit the Aussies and ask them if what it feels like to live completely separated from the troubles of the world...hmm. It's like heaven, except boring and liberal.

yes, well, my leg hurts, I'm going to go have a tortilla. Goodnight all you lovers in the world.